left or right or left or right

so, i've had several people over the past week say that I should post something on this thing again. so i've been thinking (never a good thing)

with the election coming up and the right telling everyone why they are right and the left is wrong and the left telling everyone why the right is wrong and the left is right i think we actually are missing the point. we being people who try to follow Jesus. for some reason, I just don't see Jesus telling the leaders of his day why they were wrong. sure, He may have commented about how they don't get it or they don't "have ears to hear" but I don't really see him going around pointing fingers.

"but we have to keep God in this nation"

really? how? what are we going to do to keep God here? i just don't get it nor think that we can keep Him anywhere. if the Spirit of God lives in me, then don't I take Him where ever I go? only I can mess that up. normally I do but luckily His grace covers my incompetence.

as I look at both sides and the way it polarizes the nation. specifically the way that Christians are so outspoken for or against a candidate I don't think this is Christ-centered love. some of the issues rolling around in my head:

money and taxes.
do I like paying taxes? no.
do I see and understand the need for taxes? yes
do I sometimes think that tax money is wasted? yes
do I sometimes waste money? yes
am I human? yes
is congress composed of humans? yes

why, if we are wealthy and have money and possessions are we "blessed by God"? are people who don't have money and possessions less blessed? less chosen and accepted by God? if we use money to bless and enrich the lives of other people maybe then we "are a blessing" but I just don't see the correlation between having things and being blessed.

why is giving money to people through government assistance such a bad thing? is not the government just filling a role that the Church is actually supposed to be filling? are we not called to it?

"If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth." -1 John 3:16-18

no. I don't get it 100% of the time. I probably don't even get it 10% of the time. but I at least want to try. are there some people who refuse to work? yes. however, sometimes I want to believe that they are the exception, not the rule. I've been reading a book by Brennan Manning called The Ragamuffin Gospel and in it he has a passage about how the American church for so long has essentially given the message of "God helps those who help themselves" which I don't think is the intention of the Gospel of Jesus. His message is of grace poured out for everyone paid for by His sacrifice.

sure, I have personal opinions about candidates in my head. and normally, this is where they would fall. I have received email about candidates and why I, as follower of Jesus, should jump on the conservative-evangelical-bible-thumping-right-wing-anti-democrat bandwagon but I just see it as more of a grey area than that. I think there are more why questions that should be asked of both sides.

why is helping the poor wrong?
why is lowering taxes wrong?
why is socializing health care wrong?
why is businesses making a substantial profit wrong?
why is conserving the environment wrong?

I just wish it were more clear.

I recently read one of the gospels. in the bible. and time and time again, Jesus is eating with the lowest people of society. the poor, lame, unintelligent, outcast and socially awkward people. are these the only people He came to redeem? no. does it seem through scripture that this is who He spent the majority of His time with? yes. then why should it be any different today? why are we so against programs that would help the poor, lame, unintelligent, outcast and socially awkward? is it because we would rather distribute it in a way that is honoring to God or because we would rather use it to build bigger?

please, don't overreact to my post. if you want to have a conversation about it I would love to sit down and talk to you about it. i'll even by the coffee it just has to be starbucks. I work there.

music

I've been reading A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle. It is such an amazing book. It is a children's story, I read it in fourth grade, yet it is written so extraordinarily well with so much imagery and symbolism that it will captivate anyone. I love the way that she incorporates the gospel into her work. It is like a snowball rolling down a hill, it is fun in the beginning and just gets even better and better until the end. Literally. Everyone should read it.

Again. Everyone should read it.

But, yesterday, I read this part that I just couldn't pass over. I'll quote it then give my thoughts.

If it was impossible to describe sight to Aunt Beast, it would be even more impossible to describe the singing of Aunt Beast to a human being. It was a music even more glorious than the music of the singing creatures on Uriel. It was a music more tangible than form or sight. It had essence and structure. It supported Meg more firmly than the arms of Aunt Beast. It seemed to travel with her, to sweep her aloft in the power of song, so that she was moving in the glory among the stars, and for a moment she, too, felt that the words Darkness and Light had no meaning, and only this melody was real.¹

Have you ever been some where with music that moved you? I'm not talking about just everyday listening but real music from a choir or opera or something of that sort. That when you listened something inside of you craved more.

I feel like L'Engle has written an amazing glimpse of the way music will be in Heaven. When every tribe, tongue and nation stand before Jesus singing and worshiping. I think it will be something so moving. So glorious. That we will be able to feel it. It will move us.

In her book, L'Engle so delicately incorporates scripture into a children's novel. Truth. Interwoven with fiction. Amazing. I love the way she writes. Please read it. Let me know after you do.


¹ L'Engle, Madeleine. A Wrinkle in Time. New York: Farrar, Straus and Company, 1962. 184-185.

people

people need people. it was built in us from the beginning. there is something in us that can only be filled by people. when we don't have people something breaks down, something doesn't sit well with us. sometimes we don't fill it with the right mix or try and subsitute the acceptance of people instead of people themselves and we end up in a race of trying to fix it with anything other than people.

when you realize that the only way to fill the hole of people is to be real, genuine and vulnerable that adds a lot of risk to the equation. and what i don't get though is that people hurt. a lot. people hurt people even when they don't realize it. we made to live in community. to live for other people. to give ourselves away on behalf of those around us. but, even if it hurts?

somewhere in this whole mix Jesus fits, but that is where i'm missing out. i just don't know where to find Him in all of this. it is like this: we were made for Jesus but we were also made for community. people. but if we run after people we will miss Jesus and if we run after Jesus we have to trust that He is going to provide people. that is where i'm at. i like people. i used to not but i do now. so i'm trying to follow Jesus and find people along the way.

please give me your thoughts. i truly would like them.

where are the Jesus-loving Feeney's?

this is something that has been burning on my mind lately. i just read an article about Chuck Feeney who has given away over $4 billion in his lifetime. please read at least some of the background first:

NBC Article

Interview with Chuck Feeney

"The Billionaire Who Wasn't"

The Atlantic Philanthropies : Chuck Feeney's Foundation

I just recently finished reading Money, Possessions and Eternity by Randy Alcorn, in the book he talks about using resources that the LORD has given us now in the light of an eternal perspective. It struck me how few people that love and follow Jesus have caught on to this idea. how amazing is it that people have filled in the gaps where we, who follow Jesus, have lacked? this man, Chuck Feeney, has let over $4 billion dollars slip through his grasp over his lifetime in order to impact the lives of countless other people. all for the sake of humanity

"We were inspired to do this by our founder, Charles Feeney, who believes that 'giving while living' is the best approach to achieve an impact on the urgent social inequities and injustices of our time." - Gara LaMarche, CEO, Atlantic Philanthropies

Yet, the impact is one that will fade. Where are those that love Jesus who are "giving while living" in order to not only serve the injustices but also administer the love of Jesus? We have failed. I have failed. When will we, as people who love Jesus, put down our $100 shoes and $400 cell phones and begin to live simply so that others can simply live? This isn't a call to asceticism but to look at what we "own" in the light of eternity and asking Jesus whether or not He wants us to get joy from having or get joy from giving.

The one thing that has struck me from Alcorn's book is what he says about how we are such a blessed people. Parphrase: Could it be that we are blessed and others are not so that we can not simply be blessed and others not but so that we can show practically the love of Jesus to those that do not have.

"Our desire is not that others might be relieved while you are hard pressed, but that there might be equality. At the present time your plenty will supply what they need, so that in turn their plenty will supply what you need. Then there will be equality, as it is written: 'He who gathered much did not have too much, and he who gathered little did not have too little.'" - 2 Corinthians 8:13-15

Believe me, I don't have it down, but I want to try. We can all start somewhere, maybe not in the same place, but at least we can start.

I would love your thoughts.

what's it got to do with anything?

Love. What is it? And why do we crave it so much? It is like we were made with something inside of us that has an insatiable desire to be loved. But, not only to be loved, but TO love. We try and fill it with lots of stuff. People. Any. Thing.

Why?

I have become very cautious of how I use the word love lately. Yeah, I go to Starbucks but do I really LOVE it? Can you really love some thing? Love must be received. Held onto. So can a kids hot chocolate really receive my LOVE? (Yes, that is one of my regular drinks) Sure, I can thoroughly enjoy the way that it satisfies a certain desire but can it really be the object of my love and in return fulfill my desire to be loved? I'm trying to catch myself when I use the word 'love'. There aren't many people that I actually love. I try and show lots of people acts of love but to say that I actually love them would be a lie.

Is that wrong?

I could count on maybe 3 fingers the number of people I actually love outside of my mom, dad and two brothers. Yet, I throw the word around in casual conversation. "I love this" or "Love you man". But do we really? Sometimes, I wish there were another word with the meaning "I really enjoy you and am on my way to loving you but there are still uncertainties that haven't been worked out yet". All we have in the English is the word "like" which usually isn't strong enough and the word "love" which we have devalued and really is too strong for what we use it for.

Sometimes, when I'm talking to people, I will tell them "I really like you" and to me, in my mind, that is one of the strongest emotions I can c0nvey to a person. I don't like having to do that but I use more my tone than my words. Because I don't know of a word that would fit.

Please, if you have thoughts, leave them. I really would like to hear them and know what others are thinking.

with this ring

So, I guess I should tell everyone. I'm officially getting married! Isn't that great! I'm so excited and I can't wait. Haha, just kidding. I did, however, attend a wedding this past weekend of one of my really close friends while I was at Baylor. I read a poem by Robert Browning. During the wedding I got to thinking about the last marriage between Jesus and His bride, the church. Me. And I couldn't help but sit and take notes during the ceremony because there was so much coursing through my mind. Here are my thoughts:

It was amazing how, all the way up to the wedding we could be joking around but when it finally started there was this hush that fell over the room. You could almost sense that God Himself was watching. He was there. It was such a holy and sacred moment, two lives becoming one. Leaving their own selves and becoming stitched together in the supernatural. Then the bride's maids enter. How beautiful. You could see the groom standing there thinking that if these girls, who have been attending to the bride and have been helping her get ready, looked this magnificent, then how awestruck would he be when his bride finally entered. I could only imagine Jesus as He waits for us, His bride, to finally enter on that eternal day. How excited He would be as He sees angels, who have been sent to minister to us, enter the room preparing the way for us to enter. What a glorious day. I was overwhelmed as I watched and thought of the final day. The day that Jesus returns from preparing a place for us to enter with Him.

One thing I know is that I'm not ready for that day to come. My make-up is all a wreck and my dress is still at the cleaners. Only by the grace of Jesus will I make it on time because He is coming whether I'm ready or not. But the greatest thing is that I don't have to wait until I enter to get to see Him. He readily makes Himself known each day I just have to choose to want to know Him.

in the beginning

So. I'm starting a blog. I don't actually own a computer to this should be interesting. Yes, my "me" section says that "It isn't about me". I know that that phrase has been thrown around a lot and I'm actually a bit hesitant to use it but I'm becoming more and more convinced that it isn't actually about me. I don't want to be cliche or try to sound "Christian" because I'm not trying to be a "Christian". That may sound controversial and I may get some flack for it but it is the truth. Christianity is a religion. A set of beliefs. Doctrine. Theology. Not relevant. Sure, my beliefs may line up with the Christian religion but that is not my end goal. Religion will get me no where. It doesn't provide a way for me to love people. It doesn't satisfy. It doesn't save. I'm trying to follow Jesus. I believe that He is the only one that provides a way to love people. That He satisfies. That He saves.

I've become convinced lately that I've got a lot of ideas about Jesus wrong but it isn't what I think about Him but what He thinks about me. Which is only love. Acceptance. Sonship. I don't have it all down but I'm (hopefully) getting there. He has me on a journey of seeking Him. It isn't easy at times but it is always satisfying.